Trees…. we have had a heck of a time with trees growing in our yard. It’s so heartbreaking because it takes so long for them to grow. In the 24 years we have lived here, we have lost a full-grown maple tree, a weeping willow, 3 ash trees (one of which, came up by the root ball and hit our house during a rain storm), a second weeping willow never took off and literally blew over during a wind storm, another newly planted tree never took off because it was injured by the weed eater (we still have it, but it will never grow), we have had problems with grafted, ornamental trees, and we cut down two oversize pine trees (not a fan.) Currently, we found out our birch trees will need to be treated every year if we want to save the two. One has already suffered some death from tree borers. But fortunately, we now know that we can save them by treating them each year – TOTALLY WORTH IT!

Right now I wanted to focus on 3 different trees in our yard. Tree #1 is actually a lilac bush.

Tree #1 was planted by our son when he was in the third grade through a program at school called “Trees for Threes.” Each third grader receives a lilac bush to plant.

This “tree” actually arrived as a thin, little stick. Our son had such high hopes for his tree. Every day, he religiously went out to water his tree with a cup of water.

When we dug the basement to our house that currently serves as my photography studio, he totally freaked out when he saw excavators take over our yard. “My Tree!!!” We instructed all workers to avoid this area and had like literally 7 flags surrounding the stick.

The tree made it, and began to flourish. Then one year, the leaves withered and it didn’t bloom. We were sad. Was his tree dying after all of his love and care? One person who stopped by said, “I’ve seen trees come out of this before…” So we hoped, and we waited, and the next year, the tree was healthy again. It now boasts many beautiful blooms each year.

• 

Three years later, our daughter was in third grade and came home one day proudly displaying her new lilac bush, Tree #2.

“Hey!” Our son yelled in jealousy. Her tree was about 4-5 times bigger than the tree with which he started. “Not fair!”

She watered her tree, but honestly probably did not tend to it as much as her brother because the tree was already so well established when she received it.

The tree was getting bigger and even had some blooms much earlier than her brother’s lilac bloomed.

Then one day, my husband was mowing around our weeping willow (one of our trees that died), when one of the weeping branches brushed against his eye and he mowed the WHOLE BUSH TO THE GROUND! (How? It was taller than waist-high on me.)

My daughter and I went out to survey the damage and stared in disbelief after he told us about the accident. We were both crushed. “These are the things that make a house a home!” (No guilt…) I was googling any and every way to try to save Tree #2. I stuck some of the remains back in the ground. Maybe they would just “take” and grow…. One article said a lilac may come back if the root structure was mature and established.

The next year, we saw signs of life. Tree #2 grew a little more each year. My daughter will be starting her 3rd year of college. Her tree is not anywhere near her brother’s is in size and it has not bloomed again, yet. But from the looks of it, it will. I am hopeful for next year.

Tree #3 was planted just before our son’s high school graduation party 5 years ago. After our ash tree literally blew over in the night, my husband said, “I think you are getting your patio.” We built a lovely space and planted some lovely plants, including this birch tree. Each year, it grew taller and more beautiful. Last year, it boasted some shade for this beautiful, but toasty area of the yard.

This spring, I was walking past Tree #3, and noticed there were no leaves, no buds, nothing…

In the back of my head, I recalled the advice I heard back during Tree #1, “Sometimes trees come out of these things…”

I had hope.

Then a trusted friend walked past. “This tree looks dead.” I thought, “Oh, please! Don’t let it be!”

This week, we found out, yes, our birch tree is dead. Very dead. Invaded by tree borers that were probably in the tree when it was planted.

I can’t stand to look at something when I know there is no chance of recovery. It’s coming down as soon as possible. We are now “tree shopping” once again. It’s time to work towards new growth.

I haven’t blogged for many months. I have felt stunned and scared and just incapable of writing anything. I am hoping in my writing today, I am on a path to some healing.

Life has felt so heavy right now. I have had a hard time at night, internally feeling the weight of the world. I often feel like I am having trouble breathing. Where are we? It feels like we have been plowed over. (Tree #2) Even dead at times. (Tree #3) I pray for growth and hope and new life (Tree #1)

Politics are not in my soul. I dislike anything that divides people. My heart is centered around loving and doing the right thing, treating others the way I would want to be treated, with kindness. I ask that no one makes political statements on my page.

I don’t know why, but I keep going through the fate of these 3 trees over and over in my mind and thinking of the current state of the world. I know that nothing compares to such circumstances. I wonder, is there any coming back? Will we see new growth? Will there be any change? I hope that we are resilient like our lilac bushes that were planted by our children with love. It’s my prayer.

This summer has flown by!  Our daughter is back in college and our son leaves in a week.

 

This time last year was honestly very tough on me.  The concept of Empty Nest is very, VERY real.  When I was a little younger, the term conjured up visions of a happy, carefree time, much like those many years before we had children.  Then as the time came closer, I experienced a deep sadness.  I felt not needed.  I felt like I wasn’t “Mom” anymore.  For a person like me, who stayed home to take care of my children, I felt like I was completely losing my identity.  I told someone today, that there really ought to be classes or projects or arts and crafts activities or SOMETHING designed for a parent to weather this passage of time.  It is a rough transition going from the crazy schedule of sports, activities, dances… to an abrupt stop in the schedule as you knew it.

 

But here we are now.  We made it!  🙂  Our family had a wonderful summer together and I saw and experienced so many blessings on a daily basis.  We have entered a new phase.  For the first time, I felt a distinct shift in my relationships with my children, the wonderful privilege of having adult children.  We have had many wonderful bonding moments throughout the years, but this time the dynamic was different.  It involved a new maturity, trust, and sharing with each other.  And I am so excited about the future and the many experiences we will continue to share together!

 

Last month, while witnessing this….

 

 

I remembered this….

 

 

And this…

 

 

And this…

 

 

And this…

 

 

And this…

 

 

And this…

 

 

How blessed have I been?!  I look back on all of these images and I am no longer sad.  I am encouraged knowing I will have so many future pictures I will be able to fill into my precious memories.  My mom days are not over!  I am so looking forward to the future!

A month ago today, we leisurely spent our last day on family vacation in Florence.  Our kids wanted to spend some time reading that day and take in the outdoor atmosphere of a forum area where politicians once sat and debated.  My husband and I spent some time in a nearby bookstore.  We did some last minute shopping, had a lovely last meal, gathered our things, weighed our suitcases, and prepared to go home after our adventure.

 

We had a few vacations in the past when our kids were young – South Dakota/Mt. Rushmore, Disney World, and St. Louis.  As our kids grew older it became very hard for us to take time to go anywhere due to busy year-round athletic schedules.  Our last family vacation took place in New York at Christmas time in 2013.  This ensured that no basketball practices would be missed.   At that time, our son was in his junior year of high school and our daughter was in 8th grade.  We stayed a block away from Times Square.  We saw beautiful Christmas lights, took in a couple of Broadway shows, had some amazing food…  It was a lovely time!

 

This was the first summer we have had as a family in a long time that did not involve softball.  After all of these years, we decided it was time to get away.  We had many discussions on where to go.  Many were met with some degree of protest.

 

Washington D.C.?   “That feels like homework.”

Boston?                      “Nah…”

Denmark?                  “DENmark?  What’s in DENmark?!”   (By the way, almost my entire heritage, we WILL be going to Denmark.)

 

Al and I had been on a photography trip to Tuscany in 2011.  We absolutely loved Florence and nearby towns!  We had planned on taking our kids there someday.  I guess we never really considered when that some day might be.  Five years with no vacation?  And me, now a two-time cancer survivor?  Maybe it was time…  The choice of Italy was met with great enthusiasm!

 

Eleven days is a lot of time for togetherness…  I can’t ever think of a time ever in our lives that we had 11 days with JUST each other.  Let’s also add turning off our cellular data, which actually, I am thankful for.  This meant much more time that all of us were out of our phones and could concentrate on our travels and each other.  A couple of times it proved inconvenient and one of us, including me,  would exclaim, “Can we just turn on our data for a minute?!”  But after a friend at U.S. Cellular notified me that someone came back from overseas with a $10,000 bill from roaming charges, for the most part, I was pretty diligent at reminding our kids to keep their data OFF.

 

This last month has given me time to really reflect on our trip and things I learned along the way.

 

#1  A son who is 23 (he had his birthday while in Florence) and a daughter who is 19 should not have to share the same bed.

 

Actually, I knew that when I booked our hotel room.  In the past, when the kids were little, they always slept in the same bed.  It’s just wrong now.  During our last vacation in New York, once again, I made them share a bed.  I knew I was really pushing it at that time and that decision was met with a LOT of arguing.  But dang it!  Vacation in New York is expensive and I did not want to get a second room.  And don’t even think about a roll-away bed. (“It’s against fire code.”)

 

This time, by luck, we found a hotel that provided a “family room,” which had 2 twin beds and a king.  Finally, a perfect sleeping situation!

 

 

#2  Four adults with one bathroom is not ideal.

 

We made it work of course, but when preparing to get ready, it would have been nice to have 2 bathrooms.  Especially when your son accidentally breaks off the shower head.  After being left with a hose hanging from the pipe in the wall with a hand-held shower head for a couple of days, (Emma-“I just have to say, I have never been so irritated with Bo…”), we were very happy when we got a “real” shower head back.  (Although, the first shower head was SO much better… )

 

 

#3  Family vacation and photography excursion are two entirely different trips.

 

I thought I could do both, photograph family vacation and capture competition-worthy images.  While the photos that I took are priceless and capture my precious family and some beautiful scenes, I just couldn’t quite put the same kind of concentration in that I do when shooting for competition.  Two different kinds of photography require two different kinds of trips, at least I found that to be true for me.  My kids have shared many of their pictures on their social media.  I will eventually.  I haven’t even looked at my images or downloaded them since we returned.  I will share some in the future!

 

 

#4  A carriage ride for 4 adults is just not worth it.

 

Doesn’t a carriage ride sound fun?  To enjoy the atmosphere of your destination with the clip clop of the horses hooves against the cobblestone?  We went on a carriage ride in St. Louis and I remember having fun at that time.  I am sure that there must be different sized carriages…  But our carriage in Florence, equipped with seats facing each other, containing 4 adults was too cozy.  Our legs were uncomfortably intertwined.  Then add to it, a driver who barely spoke English.  We were hot, uncomfortable, straining to hear, and thankfully for the horse, the ride was short.  As we stepped down after our ride, Al mumbled, “Did you really like that?  Was that worth 50 Euros?”  The answer was obviously no.

 

 

#5  Seeing things is great, but sometimes you just need moments of rest.

 

My husband and I love to see things.  When we have been on past trips, just the two of us, we have often explored nearby areas.  We have easily put 8-10 miles on foot/day.  It’s fun to see places you don’t see everyday and may never see again.

 

So, much of the trip I had planned for us involved tours, having a driver take us to nearby towns, lots of walking and exploring…  I thought I had scheduled enough “down time.”   One day, after climbing the Duomo and it’s 463 steps to get to the top, Al and Bo decided to also tackle the Bell Tower, an additional 414 steps.  My daughter’s  attitude was like “H__L No!”  and I was fine sitting with her and enjoying watching the artists located in the street and listening to music.  While enjoying a little wine (drinking age is 18 there) and a little food, I discovered my daughter’s idea of vacation.  “I’m the kind of girl who goes to the beach with her book and sits.  That’s vacation to me.”  I really took this in.  I wanted my kids to see some amazing things, but vacation should also be vacation.  From that point on, we made a little more leisure time.  We still saw many things, but we took the pace down a bit.  In fact on the last day that I had scheduled our driver to drive us to two more towns, we canceled that particular outing completely and hung around Florence.  I am much more aware about actually scheduling time to relax on future trips.

 

 

#6  Anything involving food is the best!

 

When I was scheduling our trip, I talked to my dear photographer friend, Amy.  She is one of my talented friends who captured senior images of Emma in Des Moines a couple of summers ago.  She excitedly said to me, “Are you going on a food tour?!  You will love it!  You sample different foods from the region, learn how to prepare them, and get some history.  You HAVE to go on a food tour!”  So, we looked into it.  There was just the 4 of us walking around Florence and sampling wine, meat, bread, olive oil, truffles, gelato, biscotti, and chocolate.  This was very fun and relaxing!  There are food tours available all over the world.  We will definitely be looking into this again in the future.

 

On another day, we decided to just go to one Tuscan town instead of the 2 we had planned.  Our driver asked if we might want to sample some wine at a small vineyard.  His suggestion was greatly appreciated and we had so much fun!  We had 9 generous samplings of wine with different courses of food.  The view was spectacular and the food and wine was wonderful!  We had several bottles delivered home to share with friends.  I would definitely recommend this experience to anyone!

 

 

#7  Making the time to travel or spend meaningful time with your loved ones is something to do NOW.

 

It was so hard to make the time for travel before now.  Bo’s and Emma’s sports and their teams were very important to them and to Al and me.  We wanted them to do their best and excel.  I grew up thinking that the time to travel was after retirement.   I have had health issues and back problems.  I am guessing that these won’t get better over time.  However, I work on taking the very best care I can of myself every day.  Al is doing the same.  By the time we retire, we might not be able to go out and experience the world.  Now that our children have a bit of unscheduled time and we don’t have extended family, yet, we intend to make the most of these years.  This trip was extensive.  Our future travels will be in the United States, at least for a few years.  Next summer is my daughter’s dream vacation to Colorado.  We intend to keep making future travel plans for as long as we can.

 

 

#8  Time spent together creates an amazing bond!

 

I did not know it was possible to love my family any more than I already did, but I do!  After spending many days together and relying on only each other, I have to say that the bonds we already had are stronger than ever.  We are finding ourselves hanging out together even more and spending more time visiting and laughing together.  I know that if I were stranded anywhere in the world and only had these three amazing spirits around me, my life would be complete.  It would be filled with wit and laughter (Emma), determination and sensitivity (Bo), intellect and love (Al).  And even though he truly doesn’t want to be a doctor at home, I’d have healthcare. 🙂

 

I am thankful for this vacation time with my family and I am ready for upcoming adventures!

 

 

 

 

I’d done it many times before, just not recently. But on Thursday night, I really screwed up.

 

My computer has Microsoft Office Suite including Outlook, which has been the means by which I access my email for years.  Because I was going to be out of the office in the near future, I thought it would be a good time to look up how to access my email directly from our server.

 

Did I remember the password?  Nope.

 

Found it!

 

My server has always fed my email straight into Outlook.  If there was mail in the server site, it was about to be dumped into Outlook.

 

I noticed that there seemed to be quite a few emails on the server site that night.  But recently, as I have checked my email on Outlook, I have had ridiculous amounts of email.  Many of my attempts to unsubscribe had seemed to fail.  I was getting 200+ emails/day.  So I didn’t think much about it as I quickly scanned the first emails, checked “select all” and emptied the folder.  I hate having a number sitting by my trash box.  I have regularly emptied my email trash in Outlook – actually every day, at least once if not more.  I hate having too much “stuff” sitting around my house that I don’t need.  The items in my trash folder were no different.  So, next, I emptied the trash on my server.  Then I exited, went to my Outlook, and I was stunned.  All of my inbox was GONE!  EVERYTHING!  Vendor price lists, warranties, and other important emails.  I mean, they HAD to be important, right?  After all, I had never rid of them.  I very well might need to access this information some day!

 

I gulped, I felt flush, I panicked!  These 2 accounts had never been linked before.  How did this happen?!

 

I contacted a friend and told her about what I had done.  How could I have been this stupid?!

 

Her response?  “If you were a criminal, they would be able to recover your email.  It’s on a server out there somewhere.”

 

She’s right!!!

 

The next morning I contacted our local utility company, our email server.  They told me to contact Microsoft.  Seriously?  I’ll never get a person to explain what I did….  After many attempts and many big breaths, I reached a person.  He explained how he would see what he could do by uninstalling my software and re-installing it.  “This will take up to 15 minutes, you can put me on speaker phone while I work on your computer.”  As soon as I heard the words “speaker phone,” I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  But, I did as he said.  And after about 5 minutes, I heard a “click, buzzzzzz” on my phone.  We had been disconnected!  And my Office Suite including Outlook was completely gone!

 

I was in complete panic as I attempted to get another person at Microsoft and explain not only what I had done, but what their other employee had done.  I could barely make sense.  After some time, he restored my Outlook and my other programs.  He explained that because I had initially made my deletions from my server, they would have to be the ones to recover any emails.

 

Yep, that makes sense…

 

I placed another call to our utility company and made contact with customer service.    If I had know specifically what I had deleted, they could search for it.  “I deleted everything at 9:30 p.m.  Does that help?”  No.  As horrible as it was to lose my inbox, it would have been worse if they had been able to recover all of my email.  I took a big breath, had an adult beverage with my dinner that night, and accepted the fact that these emails were gone for good.

 

Even as I write this, I feel my body tensing up all over again.

 

I had a couple of “saves.”  I tend to print and file a lot of important information.  I also tend to respond to many emails.  My sent box was still in tact.

 

One girl told me yesterday, she was a little jealous of my deleted emails.  She currently had thousands in her inbox.  I’m glad I don’t have that, but I somehow wish I could have looked over those emails one last time before I deleted them.

 

Now, I am left with just trust,  trusting the universe to provide for me any  information that I might need.

 

I think it’s going to be okay….

 

 

 

 

 

 

I posted this quote on my page roughly a week ago.  I have spent some time thinking about my past and my “mistakes,” if you will.  But are these things really mistakes or were they destined in the grand scheme of the universe to teach me a lesson?…

 

“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.”

 

What if you spent not only a lot of time, but a whole lot of money?

 

Well, that’s exactly how I felt about the major I chose in college.  I like music & I sang quite well (I’m SO out of vocal shape right now!).  Back then at the wise old age of 18, I thought naturally, I should become a music teacher.  Music is a REALLY hard major, by the way, with so many classes that gave so little college credit and demanded a great deal of time.  Example:  Ear Training was twice a week for 1 credit.  We had to listen to intervals on the piano and identify them – up a third, down a fifth, etc.  Our tests involved listening to a tune played on the piano and we had to write it on a staff.

 

When did I know, in my heart, this wasn’t the right career for me?  Halfway through my senior year of college.  That’s a really, REALLY bad time to come to that conclusion.  I taught for one year when Al began medical school.  The job and the experience both were not good for me.   It was at that point I acknowledged my “mistake” and walked away.

 

But was this a mistake?  Were there some other reasons that I chose this path?  I look back on that time in life and remember the significant moments I experienced because of this major.  I made some wonderful friends!  I was a part of one of the most amazing choirs, Nordic Choir, for three years.  Our conductor, Weston Noble, was also one of my professors.  Being in his presence was a wonderful experience!  Because of this major, I was required to have a vocal recital.  On the day of my junior recital, my husband, Al, asked me out for the first time and he attended my recital that evening.  Did he begin to fall in love with me that night?  Honestly, I don’t know.  I’ll have to ask him.  But it certainly didn’t hurt anything.  🙂

 

In retrospect, I believe I struggled in this profession because I simply wasn’t meant to be teaching music.  I was meant to contribute to another area of the arts.  I was meant to be a photographer.  On a bad day, I still kick myself that I didn’t choose business or marketing or another major.  But I know I am where I am meant to be.

 

Another of my mistakes?  Breaking up with my husband.

 

After we had dated a few months our junior year, it was summertime.  And the longer I was away from Al, the more I wondered if we should be dating.  Was he more serious than me?  I got scared.  When he came to visit me, where I was working at Okoboji Lutheran Bible Camp, I broke up with him.  He drove all the way back to Wisconsin with a broken heart.  Within a few months, after we were back at Luther College, I began to think I’d made a mistake.  I did not cling to my decision to split up.  I took him by surprise when I went to see him at his house one night and talk.  By February, we were engaged.  I believe that this break was necessary for me, though.  Because after some time to think, I knew that I would never want to leave this man again.

 

When it comes relationships, any relationship, I believe time is of the essence when realizing a mistake or a misunderstanding.  The sooner we make things “right,” the better.  What if he had met someone else?  I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without my husband or our children.  This kind of goes along with what I have said to my kids from a young age, ALWAYS trust your instincts.  They are God’s voice inside of you and will always guide you in the right direction.

 

I won’t say that my career with Longaberger many years ago was a mistake.  It ended up being a huge learning experience.   I loved the products!  I so enjoyed meeting new people at home shows.  I learned a variety of responsibilities when I was a branch advisor.  I left this job when Longaberger baskets and pottery were at their height of popularity.    I spent 8 years building and creating a career with this company.  But when I realized that the stress was too great, I walked away even after investing a lot of time and money.

 

I don’t believe that any of my photography has been a mistake.  Every life that I captured has immense value!  I have decided not to continue to put my energy into newborn photography.  Of course, I’m holding on to a few things for our future grandchildren way, WAY down the road.  🙂

 

Keep your eyes open for some new kinds of portraiture from this studio.  You’ve had a little sneak peek with pet portraits.  These will join my senior and family portrait business.

 

With the exception of the weighted blanket I purchased (I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breath, and it cost $80 shipping to return), I don’t believe that there are mistakes.  There is only life lessons to guide in the direction of your purpose.

 

 

Several years ago, I had a blog post on here after cleaning my kitchen cabinets.  At that time, I was feeling overwhelmed.  I was very busy with my photography business, which was great!  And at the same time, I was crazy busy with my kids’ sports activities.  One day, as I was tackling a cabinet which was driving me nuts because it was so full (by the way, it’s time to hit those cabinets again), I found a a great moment of clarity.  I needed to cut back on my photography sessions.  I have always considered myself a mom first, secondarily someone who also liked to throw in some photography.  I didn’t want to miss any of the moments I needed to be there for my children as they grew up.  I don’t regret that decision in any way, shape, or form.

 

This past year was my first as an empty-nester.  There are things I am starting to get used to, some things I even enjoy about this stage, and of course there are things that I miss.

 

I have had a good 8 months now to figure out the next stages of my business and my life. But honestly, I think I was still kind of sad and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself….  until now.

 

So once again, I am tackling my home and cleaning the areas that have been hidden behind doors, cabinets, shelves, and drawers.  It seems it is during these menial tasks that I do the best thinking.  When there is less clutter around me, there is less clutter in my head.

 

Tonight (yes, TONIGHT, as in after we got home from a movie TONIGHT), I was determined to get started.  The coat closet in our laundry room was driving me crazy!  I had way more coats than I wear and I was bound and determined to find my North Face hat which had been missing for months.  But in order to clean it, I really had to have Al go through his things, too.  (I have such a good guy!)  And when 2 people conquer such a task, it really doesn’t take very long.  But I read in a book, the key to start decluttering is simply to MOVE.  And tonight, I knew I just had to move in order get in the mood to make to improvements over these next weeks before the kids are home for the summer.

 

As I was going through my hats (found my North Face hat!), I found some rather boring hats that I wanted to get rid of.  Al, my practical guy, said “These are good for Packer games.  You need to keep these.  They are very utilitarian.”  I thought about it a few minutes and said, “But I don’t want to look utilitarian.  I want to look cute.”  His response?  “Warm is sexy….  warm people don’t whine!”  Sigh…  after 30 years, he knows me so well!

 

So, anyway…  one closet down.  I’m on my way!

Sweet little Franny and Fergi were subjects in this studio yesterday.  I had never photographed two dogs together before.  In an ideal world, my first image would just “happen.”  However, I gave this some thought in advance.  Both of these pups were pretty young.  I knew that they would be full of energy and they most definitely were!  🙂  So how was an image like this created?

 

The mom of these “girls” 🙂 helped with the session.  I shot each dog individually and then I photographed the background and props alone, making sure to straighten out floor of the backdrop.  There was no “cutting and pasting” in creating the final picture.  This portrait was created by a careful combination of blending images together in order to create the “perfect” shot.

 

Why reveal my secret?

 

These are some skills that took a while to perfect, but after these many years in business I’m pretty darn good at combining images.  I wanted people to know that even if a session seems a little crazy (and it was 🙂 ) and if you leave thinking, “I don’t think she could have captured anything,” I usually can.  🙂  It needs to look totally seamless, like it came out of the camera that way, in order to pass my seal of approval.

 

If you are looking to create something amazing for your pet or family (these same techniques work great with people  🙂  ), I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

I have been thinking about Doctor’s Day quite a bit today, my husband’s journey into this field, and the impact this job has on family.  It is probably because as I write this, I have too much time to think,  as he is doing what he is committed to doing, taking care of the people of this community.

 

Al’s education was 11 years in the making.  I came into the picture in his 3rd year of reaching his goal.  Being a doctor was on Al’s radar since he was young.  When his baby sister was born, he asked his dad about his mom’s blood pressure.  He never really veered into considering another field, except maybe while experiencing the stress of the first 2 years of medical school, but by then we were too far in to look back.

 

We married in August of 1989, 2 weeks before medical school started.  To say that this time was stressful is an understatement.  He was committed to studying in an area of our apartment.   Being newly married,  it was hard being in the next room and feeling like I couldn’t talk to him.  I would try to keep myself occupied with cross-stitch, reading, exercising, or watching t.v. on a 13″ screen with no cable.  I kept myself busy working 2 jobs.  We had no money, a load of debt, no family, and few friends in town.

 

I remember one day about halfway through medical school, I was thinking about the responsibility of being the wife of a doctor.  I was already struggling with all of the times I was by myself.   I said to Al, “I don’t know if I can do this.”  He looked at me fearfully and said, “But this is what I am going to be…”  That was a wake-up moment for me.  I loved this man more than anything.  I knew I wanted to spend my life with him.  And that meant I was going to have to learn to manage everything his career would entail.

 

The past years have included missed weddings, graduations, special occasions, and sporting events due to Al being on call.  We have spent holidays eating as a family at the hospital cafeteria when he had to work.  I have brought him dinner to KRHC when he was stuck at the hospital.  I thought if he doesn’t have time to take care of himself, how can he take care of others?  That was my responsibility to be there for him.  (Although, honestly that isn’t a whole lot different than when we took dinner to Dad in the field.)  I have taken my children for a break at the hospital when they were small and missed seeing him.  He has had so many nights with little or no sleep over the years and worked the next day.  I know that I am years ahead of him on sleep.  And because of sleep deprivation, I have seen him fall asleep at Christmas and birthday gatherings with family, even as gifts were being opened.  I hold my breath and pray whenever I hear an ambulance and I know that he is on call.  He has missed pivotal moments in my children’s sporting careers while he assisted another participant who was injured.  Fortunately, he had a wife who took pictures.  If he says he’s going to be home at 6:00, I can guarantee you it will be 6:40 because someone asked another medical question.

 

Neither one of us would ask for sympathy.  This is just the way it is.  This is the life of a physician.

 

Now on the flip side….  I have had people come up to me and tell me how my husband has saved their life.  He has held hands with a patient,  having to relay to them that they are sick.  He has comforted children who were getting their shots.  He has assisted in bringing new life into this world.  He has been present with families after the loss of a loved one.  He has stitched, set broken bones, removed lesions, rounded on patients, and performed a multitude of other medical tasks.  This job of his is truly a calling.

 

I signed up to support him with this career.  Our children did not.  But I believe… I hope… that they also learned some valuable lessons as they grew up.  They have truly witnessed us for better and for worse, in sickness and in health.  I know that on the day that each of them come home and say that they are getting married, the first question, even before the availability of the church, will be, “What’s my call schedule?”   I believe that my kids have had a solid education regarding the sacrifices that are involved in supporting your husband or wife.

 

Today, I honor not just my husband, but all of the doctors who have contributed so much to our communities.  May God continue to bless them in their professions!

 

Yesterday, someone told me about a card that they had received that touched their heart.  I have been thinking about that conversation ever since…

 

Do you remember the time when you were so excited to receive an email or a text because it was something so foreign and new to you?  That was the day when we tossed cards to the side that we received in the mail. We looked at them later in order to read a message on these new digital platforms first.

 

Well, times are reversed.  The notes we receive on our computers and phones are now common place and more rare and precious is the hand-written card or letter.

 

How amazing is the art of letter writing!

 

I have been blessed with a husband who has never been afraid to put his thoughts and feelings in writing to me, when we first dated and still today.  I receive the nicest, well-thought out sentiments from him on my birthday, our anniversary,  for Valentine’s Day, when I’ve had a bad day, and sometimes for no reason at all other than to tell me he loves me.

 

I believe that letters and notes to our friends and family are every bit as precious!  I have taken time to write a note of thanks after being invited to a gathering, having lunch with a friend, following a conversation that I enjoyed having with someone, or receiving a gift….  Do I always remember?  No.  But I am making it my mission to be even more consistent in this area of my life.

 

I once gave someone the advice that talking to a person was better than letter-writing.  I kind of wish I could take that back.  Talking is always great, but there is something very special about having something in your hand that can be treasured, to relive the words of appreciation, the special memories, the love… again and again.

 

If you don’t have any stationary or note cards, I encourage you to think about picking up some.  While a letter or note on a blank sheet of paper is every bit as precious, I think fun papers make the experience even more enjoyable for the writer.

 

And if you receive an unexpected note from me?  Well, don’t be surprised!  🙂

 

 

 

 

Retouching – it’s one of the the not so little things that I pay particular attention to when creating a portrait.  A beautiful portrait starts with beautiful light.  Why not finesse it to create the very best version of yourself?

 

I make no apologizes for the amount of retouching I have put in an image.  I honestly believe that when we look at an image of someone we love, we already see exactly what I have retouched.  Life, stress, and gravity take its toll on our bodies.  My pictures depict my clients as they would look on their very best days.  I actually enhance an image with many little details.  I think it has made my work look distinctive.  I believe it’s the sum of all of these little things that create a final image with a bit of “wow.”  🙂

 

I took some time over this last week to create a few “selfies” in my studio for some before retouching and after images.  (By the way, I have come to the conclusion that the more selfies you take, the more critical you get of yourself.)

 

I chose this image for a couple of reasons.  I usually have an open smile, showing my teeth.  This is not my typical self-portrait.  I looked at this image and I saw my resemblance to my dad and I also saw my daughter who often smiles this way.

 

First I start lightening circles & wrinkles under the eyes.  I slightly lighten the whites of the eyes, enhance the color of the eyes, and darken eyelashes.  These are pretty much standard with all of my portraits.  As I have gotten older, I have noticed sometimes I have visible veins on my forehead, I lightened these.  I reduced the reds of some skin around my neck and hands and removed a few age spots.  I wasn’t real happy with my neckline looking a bit rumpled so I fixed it.  I’m an “80’s girl” and I still like slightly bigger hair.  I “pushed down” the height of my hair, the product of too much backcombing that day.  Can’t tell?  I still have to stay somewhat 80’s-like.  🙂  I have a crooked nose, just like my dad.   🙂  It actually doesn’t bother me much but for these purposes, I straightened the shadow on my nose just a bit.  I smoothed the skin a little and then I adjusted the levels of light on the image.

 

I do not think that the average person would look at the after image and think, “Michelle really changed that picture!”  I think that they would be more inclined to think that the after version just looks better than the before image for some reason.

 

I have not photographed many head shots in the past.  I have a bit more time these days, so if you are interested in having a “polished” headshot  🙂  in this studio, please let me know.  I am now offering a digital only version that is emailed.